A blog for today

Just feel like blogging out of sudden, first of all I would like to thanks Yee Chui for sending me the testimonials :)… then I would like to thanks you guys for still surfing on my blog to know what’s going on in my life…

4th of March… is a cloudy day… got myself went to work in 830am… then got home around 4.30pm… was kind of tired because never got to rest well… went to see doctor yesterday and doctor had gave me some medicine that could let me release some stress, if the condition getting worst I might need to consult counselor soon… been complained by the doctor about my sleeping hours… sigh…

Yesterday was a busy day, went out to work in the whole day and met Feifei, he was worrying about his father, he father is in critical condition now, will pass away in anytime… he wasn’t happy about that and he was being sad… was telling him how I went through the hard time when my dad passed away and cried too… still missing daddy a lot…

After work, got myself a hot shower and went out for dinner with Rica, we had our best seafood meal in Melbourne… those oyster was natural and fresh and the salads was awesome… love them so much… anyway was happy to enjoy the meal but wasn’t happy to listen to Rica’s life story… she had been through lots of hard time… she is not working in the pub but work as a prostitute…. She is the first friend of mine who work as a prostitute… I am not looking down at her, but after I got to come in my room, I cried… I don’t know what can I do to comfort her, but I hope she will get her visa done and get her course complete…

Everyone would have their own hard time… since 2002, I’ve been listen a lot of people’s hard time… no one come to life easy at all… just like our study, we need to gone through some hard time too… what we can do is being staunch… as what I am trying to do… I do have the moment where I want to give up… like last night… I was suffer of the pain, but I know if I give up I would not have the chance… if I try I would know at least I’ve try and at least I got to know I’m succeed or fail…

Sisters wasn’t happy back home to face that guy, anyway I am not going to get involve until I am back home… can’t be bothered to know anything, it will just causing me to hate him more… nothing much happen lately though…

Got to go now to cook my porridge… take care friends… gone for now…

Good Morning

Is already 5.49am and I am still awake… been pressuring myself too much… posting some lyrics that I think I quite like it… and I was listening to those songs while I am posting the lyrics.

Having fever, headache, and diarrhea and dizzy at the moment… I felt frustrated just now and I cried out… I was trying so hard to control my emotional but some people seem like trying to make me lock myself up…

I know I shouldn’t have blaming anyone as I am being moody without any reason? Well… I think so… another 4 hours I will be seeing doctor… so I am just waiting time to fly by and so I can get myself out to see doctor…

I feel like going out for jogging but I am a bit lazy to do so… sigh… I broke the promise again… I promised to sleep early as well as eat proper diet.. I got myself to have proper diet but not sleeping early… anyway I’ve already tried my best… I hope I can do as what I’ve promised…

Show me the meaning of being lonely

Show me the meaning of being lonely
So many words for the broken heart
It's hard to see in a crimson love
So hard to breathe
Walk with me, and maybe
Nights of light so soon become
Wild and free I could feel the sun
Your every wish will be done
They tell me

[Chorus:]
Show me the meaning of being lonely
Is this the feeling I need to walk with
Tell me why I can't be there where you are
There's something missing in my heart

Life goes on as it never ends
Eyes of stone observe the trends
They never say forever gaze upon me
Guilty roads to an endless love (endless love)
There's no control
Are you with me now?
Your every wish will be done
They tell me

[Chorus]

There's nowhere to run
I have no place to go
Surrender my heart, body, and soul
How can it be
You're asking me
To feel the things you never show

You are missing in my heart
Tell me why I can't be there where you are

[Chorus]

My immortal

I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me

You used to captivate me
By your resonating life
Now I'm bound by the life you've left behind
Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along

Blardeee furstrated

I’m damn blardeee pain and having diarrhea now… can’t think of anything and feel frustrated… just pop in and type few words and will be off soon though… damn blardee music can’t help to make me calm…

Andrew called me up and asked me out with him and I was kinda pissed with him… he is one of my friend’s ex boyfriend… when he was with my friend he keep calling me everyday and I was being blamed for being third party while I was not the one… sigh… anyway I wasn’t happy to see him and I hung up straight away after he called me…

Feel like eating junk food, but I’ve promised Ian I will not eat any of them and I threw them away… :s…. I don’t feel like eating any meat or any vegetable or anything now… but I feel like something sour…. Damn what the heck am I feeling now?

Grrrrrr… I don’t know what the heck I am feeling and what the heck I am thinking I guess I should have log off now… tata everyone.

First of March 2005

Finally got to know who the hell is the one who played mind game with me earlier… been forcing him to tell out his identity and finally we had draw a line between us…

Was crying for the pass few nights… the scar is pain and got myself hard to breath at night… got to see doctor again in Thursday… sigh… wishing myself would recover soon…

Like someone lately… I love to spend time with him… he is just one of my friend that will comfort me most of the time… nothing much to elaborate about him as I just got to know him few days back… he is a Caucasian… so yeah..

Had a job offer from Victorian club, in observation tower… I went for the interview… and am still under consideration … sigh… anyway I feel nice when I stand at the window side to look at the view of Melbourne… it was real nice… lots of things to be consider because I am trying to get myself back to Malaysia…

From friends’ side, nothing much happened among me and my friends besides Jason… I felt hard to talk to him after he got to read all my diaries without my permission… not really happy with that still.. but sigh… nothing much I can do now.

Nothing much to blog now as everything are still the same… so… tata for now and have a nice day :)

desert 

Nice sky - taken by Michael (Speedy) 

I love these flowers - Taken by Michael (Speedy) 

A foggy one - Taken by Michael (Speedy) 

The sky is on fire? - Taken by Michale (Speedy) 

Nice on - Taken by Michael (Speedy) 

A bit scary - taken by Michael (Speedy) 

I like this - Taken by Mchael (Speedy) 

Nice pic - tkane by Michael (Speedy) 

nice sky - taken by Michael (Speedy) 

Desperado

Desperado, why don’t you come to your senses?
You been out ridin’ fences for so long now
Oh, you’re a hard one
I know that you got your reasons
These things that are pleasin’ you
Can hurt you somehow

Don’ you draw the queen of diamonds, boy
She’ll beat you if she’s able
You know the queen of heats is always your best bet

Now it seems to me, some fine things
Have been laid upon your table
But you only want the ones that you can’t get

Desperado, oh, you ain’t gettin’ no youger
Your pain and your hunger, they’re drivin’ you home
And freedom, oh freedom well, that’s just some people talkin’
Your prison is walking through this world all alone

Don’t your feet get cold in the winter time?
The sky won’t snow and the sun won’t shine
It’s hard to tell the night time from the day
You’re loosin’ all your highs and lows
Ain’t it funny how the feeling goes away?

Desperado, why don’t you come to your senses?
Come down from your fences, open the gate
It may be rainin’, but there’s a rainbow above you
You better let somebody love you, before it’s too late

A little blog before I sleep

Today is Sunday… and is a sleeping Sunday for me… I’ve spend the whole day in sleeping… when I woke up, Serena was here and we got to chatted for a while… was kinda sleepy though and got myself rested…

Nothing much to update you all… been sick sick and sick… nothing is new for me LOL… almost killed myself in the bathroom earlier just now… was bathing with very hot water, and then forgotten to turn on the fan as well as the window and got myself stuck in the steamed bathroom… when I feel hard to breath, I got myself run out from the bath and get out of the bathroom…. Was feeling dizzy but feeling a lot better now….

I was just feeling blur without thinking anything now…. And so… just post a short blog for now… got to catch some sleep now tata everyone :P

This is tram, one of the public transport u can find in Melbourne 

snow in Slovakia 

snowing place in Slovakia-1 

snowing place in Slovakia