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10th of March

10th of March.. a bad day for me and seem like everything went wrong today… I couldn’t sleep at night again… and end up hanging around with Rica for movies and online playing those horoscope test… it says I will be very good in yesterday but seem like it must be something went wrong and end up everything went the other way round…

Feeling blur at the moment and actually I had a dream just now… and Ian appears as the main character in my dream… I couldn’t remember what the details of the dream are but it was a sweet dream? Anyway I wouldn’t want this dream to happen as there is something in the dream that I don’t want it to happen which we met and we get argued…

I wasn’t feeling well yet as the infection am killing me… I couldn’t sleep well and eat well… besides I felt stressful over Rica for forcing me in taking heavy meals with her… I wasn’t happy about things happened between the last few days… I didn’t go anywhere in telling things about me but I was just shutting into my heart as I need to overcome things by myself…

I was trying to get myself into a better condition, but was end up doing things for the sake of helping people… I get fed up at times which I didn’t know how to say no till the extend of making myself suffering… I hate being kind to people, but I can’t letting myself to be selfish to anyone… sigh… I wish I could rectify myself from being too generous to people…

Rica wasn’t happy as she can’t get to work for the whole week… she was expecting me to spend all my time for her as Adrian is not available for her… I felt tired in entertaining her at times… she can just pop into my room in 4’o clock in the morning and asked me to go to the supermarket with her… I would want to go with her if I am feeling okay and comfortable… but I wasn’t feeling well and the weather was so cold for the last few days… sigh… and end up whenever I say no to her she would be showing her face and slam the door… I felt hard in accommodating her… I don’t wish to be her 24 hours friends when I am sick :s….

Thanks Fai for sending movies for me again… anyway I wasn’t happy about Jason in telling my secrets to Joey… sigh… I hate him so much… Joey had been asking me things that he knows… I felt uncomfortable with it… I sense that he felt unfair if Jason had read my diary and I am not allowing him to read my diary… sigh… anyway thanks Duc for the big big card… kekeke… it was really cute and nice… thanks Cherry in helping me to choose the best card that I want :P… thanks Carol for spending some times with me in waiting in the clinic and finally would like to thanks everyone for still concerning about me and reading my blogs… I felt warm whenever I got to see messages from u guys :)…

2 more days would be Ian’s birthday… so I heard he will be celebrating his birthday with his friends in one of his friend’s place… anyway I hope he will enjoy the birthday party…

Was feeling unhappy about few friends situation… I wasn’t a good friend in consoling friend at all… even the one who always gone happy go lucky got upset today… sigh… everyone had their own problem and today seem to be the complaining day… I hope it will be better tomorrow…

Heading to my bed soon as I am feeling extremely exhausted at the moment… I got myself slept and woke up out of sudden from the dream… I’m not an angel; I’m not a perfect person… so I hope all my friends would be patient with me…

Good night everyone and have a good weekend…

how it looks like in the car 

back view of Z4 

side view of Z4 

top view of Z4 

one of my fav car - BMW Z4 

Monday 7th March

Time now is 3.57am… missing daddy a lot.. u will never experience what I am feeling now… been blaming myself for sometimes… I wish daddy is still alive… I wish I can do what a daughter should be done… I wish daddy able to send me off… sigh…

Nothing much happened on Monday as I went to see doctor because I got infection… erm the ‘ear water’ is unbalance and feeling dizzy and keep vomiting things I’ve ate… got myself some tuna with some spring onion… is really tasty but I think if I am having boyfriend now.. no kissing after that because of the onion smells…

One of my ex boyfriend M, had asked me to borrow him money… I am considering should I do so… he needs RM800… I was thinking should I do so or not… I wanted to borrow but I scared there will be many times for me to borrow him again… should I borrow him? Sigh…

Listened to a Korean song BK love… is a nice song.. this is one of the song from windstruck… a Korean movie… if you watch before you will know about this story.. it is a very nice and touching movie… anyway… I guess I shouldn’t sit here to continue typing as I am feeling dizzy now… see ya and I hope everyone will have a nice day…

I love you

Ref:
I love You
You know that I do
What can I do
To find the truth
You know I love You
Forever and ever
We'll be together
And I do it all just for you

From the first timer I saw you
You had my heart
I didn't know how to talk to you
I didn't know how to start
Two weeks later I saw you again
My heart was beating faster
It was adrenaline
Your eyes your smile and your beautiful face
You caught me in the act
And I thought I lost the race
Let me tell you, that I'm shivering inside
I wanna hold your hand
I wanna hold you tight

Please be with me
My love so deep
What can I do
To be with you?

Ref:

Sitting in the room
Waiting by my phone
Driving on the tourbus
Can't wait to come home
Miles and miles
Between the two of us
I need you girl or my heart will bust
I know it's hard for you
When I'm far away
But every single hour and
Every single day
I think of you
In a special way
I love you girl
In my heart just stay

Please be with me
My love so deep
What can I do
To be with you?

Ref:

This goes out to all the lovers outside
If you once find the right person never let her
go away