Happy

Hmmm…. Starting a new life now… today seems to be so different to me… when I woke up I really feel like crying but I was okay… then I went to work as usual… maybe I am feeling a bit release after settled so many problems for so long… you know, is like a feeling of successful… maybe you should say I am easy to get happy and easy to get sad… but that’s me…

Sorry for not blogging for the pass 3 days :D… was kinda busy to settle things and settle my mood as well :D… as you can see I am getting better now… erm, there are people waiting to celebrate with me :D…

Had lunch about 3pm… then went to have eyebrow waxing, and a little trimming on my hair :D… after that went to buy some food to stock in and went dinner with Kevin… it’s been long time I never contact him… today he message me as Ginny told him my good news :D… so yeah had a nice ‘lunch’ for me LOL…

There are so many things to be done but no money :s… still waiting for my money LOL… overspend in last month for helping friends as well as buying some new things in winter sales :D… there are lots of things to buy again :s… guess my July will be a month that I spend the most hur hur…

Errr… I don’t know why am having headached now…so I think I will continue the conference with Jaja, jie, gor, derr and SJ… then have a early sleep… tomorrow will be a long day for me :S…. tata people…. And have a nice day…

p/s: heard of the London incident news… really sick of those terrorist, why can’t they just live in peace? Sigh….

I think I am crazy

Yeah my mood is really bad for this few days... having bad mood swing… I miss my daddy a lot… I need time to cool myself down… I’ve try to talk to people but I was trying to stop crying so I don’t want to touch on those sensitive things…

Funny eh… there is a chatter actually pm me in IRC and asked about virginity… :x… she actually telling me that her god sister had sex with a guy and she felt pain on her private part… I asked if the guy wore condom when they had the intercourse, she replied no, the excuse is he forgot to bring condom (what an excuse)… he even tell the girl that he knows what to do if she is pregnant (silly eh the girl)… anyway sorry to say I felt really sorry for the naïve girl to have sex with a guy :x…

As usual went to work in the morning and went to look for my aunty’s friend after work, reach home around 1245pm… then came online.. trying so hard to chat with people but I realize I got no topic to chat… I guess I am the boring person :D…. yeah so if you think you don’t wanna get bored by me don’t message me then…

Guess what? There is a lesbian girl who actually confessed to me… well… I do have a intention to be a lesbo before… but to avoid so many people getting upset if I am doing so, I have to stop it… I can’t bear to see people sad for me :x….

God father rang me last night and we had a long long chat… he is worried of me… due to the busy body doctor who actually called my god father and telling him I was sick for so long… yeah been cough, flu, fever for some times… -.-

Hmmm I don’t think there is anything for me to update at the moment… so that’s it for this post…

I miss daddy

Slept about 6am in the morning… Joey’s mum has asked him to fetch me to their house… nothing much just feel like hanging out with me… today his mum taught me French chocolate cake… and yeah I’ve made one and she has made one… the whole kitchen was so messy after we making the cake…

My emotional is not really stable… when I was making cake, I was thinking the time when I was 13 years old… that is the last year I celebrated my birthday with my family… that was the time where dad was in bad mood… he argued with mum and I was a bit unhappy. I hide inside my room without doing anything… I thought there will be no celebration for my birthday… I felt asleep after being tired of crying…

About diner time, dad was home with a bucket of KFC and a black forest cake… at first I refused to come out from the room, then I heard my sis told me that daddy’s going to finish all the food and left nothing for me, and they are going to blow the cake without the birthday girl… I was so happy and ran out from the room… there goes a simple family dinner and celebration fro my birthday…

When I was 14 years old… I told my dad I am not going to celebrate my birthday because I want to prepare things to Australia… and that is the time I had my birthday celebration with some friends while we went out… since then I was stuck in Australia… it is so sweet when you can actually think of the sweet memories with daddy… but I felt the sour feeling deep inside my heart that I can’t take it when come to think about it…

I can’t stop thinking of daddy after losing that necklace… and I hope I never disappoint daddy in anything I am doing… daddy I love u…. something really funny that I would miss daddy badly than mummy… maybe because I think mummy has her own new life… I wouldn’t want to live in her life cycle… I know I will hurt mummy if she knew this… but I really wish to have my own life… without seeing a guy that can’t even substitute my dad’s place in my heart… no way….

Heartbroken

I am really feeling unhappy and frustrated at the moment… I was not really feeling well since last night… been having bad headache and stomached… been sick for so long and non stop…

Linda ( the black girl which is my new housemate) had come to me in the morning returning one of my g string that I claimed it was gone for last 2 days… last 2 days I’ve argued with her because I found my g- string is not at the hanger outside where I hang dry my clothes. So I asked her if she mistook it or not, the way she replied was kinda annoying and it was like I am blaming her… so I actually told her I am not happy about losing things most of the time when she is around… and so we argued.

That was not a big issue for me at all as I don’t even caring about this girl… she is just making me to avoid her in any issue in the house… I don’t even allow her to share any of my things at home… the more I think the more I felt disgusting with the g string that I got back from her… I can’t stand to have my personal belongings in other’s room or whatever… so I’ve decided to throw it away….

Last night, I had a dream… I dreamed of my dad… I spoke to him in my dream… this is the first time I had so close chat with dad… we had been chatting a lot about life and when I was small… so when I woke up I was trying to look for the necklace that he gave to me before he passed away… but after looking at all the possible place that the necklace will appear, I couldn’t find it at all… I can’t bear to lose it… and till now all I can do is cry… I couldn’t find it… I have no idea where I put it or where it had gone…

All the mix feelings are deep inside my heart… it is so hard for me to share with everyone here… pardon me if I had did anything that is too harsh or being cold to anyone… I know I’ve been really cold to Nick… sorry about that…

So I seriously can’t think of anything… I think I need to go out for a walk…