I miss daddy

Slept about 6am in the morning… Joey’s mum has asked him to fetch me to their house… nothing much just feel like hanging out with me… today his mum taught me French chocolate cake… and yeah I’ve made one and she has made one… the whole kitchen was so messy after we making the cake…

My emotional is not really stable… when I was making cake, I was thinking the time when I was 13 years old… that is the last year I celebrated my birthday with my family… that was the time where dad was in bad mood… he argued with mum and I was a bit unhappy. I hide inside my room without doing anything… I thought there will be no celebration for my birthday… I felt asleep after being tired of crying…

About diner time, dad was home with a bucket of KFC and a black forest cake… at first I refused to come out from the room, then I heard my sis told me that daddy’s going to finish all the food and left nothing for me, and they are going to blow the cake without the birthday girl… I was so happy and ran out from the room… there goes a simple family dinner and celebration fro my birthday…

When I was 14 years old… I told my dad I am not going to celebrate my birthday because I want to prepare things to Australia… and that is the time I had my birthday celebration with some friends while we went out… since then I was stuck in Australia… it is so sweet when you can actually think of the sweet memories with daddy… but I felt the sour feeling deep inside my heart that I can’t take it when come to think about it…

I can’t stop thinking of daddy after losing that necklace… and I hope I never disappoint daddy in anything I am doing… daddy I love u…. something really funny that I would miss daddy badly than mummy… maybe because I think mummy has her own new life… I wouldn’t want to live in her life cycle… I know I will hurt mummy if she knew this… but I really wish to have my own life… without seeing a guy that can’t even substitute my dad’s place in my heart… no way….