Heartbroken

I am really feeling unhappy and frustrated at the moment… I was not really feeling well since last night… been having bad headache and stomached… been sick for so long and non stop…

Linda ( the black girl which is my new housemate) had come to me in the morning returning one of my g string that I claimed it was gone for last 2 days… last 2 days I’ve argued with her because I found my g- string is not at the hanger outside where I hang dry my clothes. So I asked her if she mistook it or not, the way she replied was kinda annoying and it was like I am blaming her… so I actually told her I am not happy about losing things most of the time when she is around… and so we argued.

That was not a big issue for me at all as I don’t even caring about this girl… she is just making me to avoid her in any issue in the house… I don’t even allow her to share any of my things at home… the more I think the more I felt disgusting with the g string that I got back from her… I can’t stand to have my personal belongings in other’s room or whatever… so I’ve decided to throw it away….

Last night, I had a dream… I dreamed of my dad… I spoke to him in my dream… this is the first time I had so close chat with dad… we had been chatting a lot about life and when I was small… so when I woke up I was trying to look for the necklace that he gave to me before he passed away… but after looking at all the possible place that the necklace will appear, I couldn’t find it at all… I can’t bear to lose it… and till now all I can do is cry… I couldn’t find it… I have no idea where I put it or where it had gone…

All the mix feelings are deep inside my heart… it is so hard for me to share with everyone here… pardon me if I had did anything that is too harsh or being cold to anyone… I know I’ve been really cold to Nick… sorry about that…

So I seriously can’t think of anything… I think I need to go out for a walk…