Moodless

Y is I saying I am mood less??... Today the whole day was not really a good day... was raining and windy... some of the ppl in IRC don't seem right at all... I am leaving to the airport soon....

Duc and his mum almost reach my house soon... I am still feeling dizzy as the effect of the sleeping pills still in the body...

Liz will be away for the whole month and I will not be able to see her till she's back :s... got to let her settle down herself once she got back too... so the earliest I will get to see her is in February :s...

In another 12 more hours, I will be in my house and watching my mum getting ready to be a bride soon... do u know what is my feelings at the moment? No is not good at all... Maybe u will not know how I feel... Lots of ppl said I should not be selfish as my mum needs a companion for her life too... and some of them said if U dun like it y r u going back? Come to think about it, she is a great mum... because of us she had to sacrifice lots of time and joys in her life.... because of me she got to work for my god father... she could just got marry and sit at home as this is a rich guy... as what am I thinking now? Yes there is still something stuck in my mind... will I call a stranger 'father'? Y is that so soon to get marry while my dad had just passed away in 2 years time? Y my mum will fall into this guy? Are all the questions that pop in my mind whenever I stuck myself to think about my mum and the family...?

I am the 'black sheep' in the family... black sheep is not means that I am bringing bad luck or whatever... but I am the most special and most luckiest one.... I got the love from most of the friends, cousins, uncles and aunties... and I got sponsored by my god father to Australia to live the life I want and they want... I had everything similar with my dad's temper... I've got the highest education in the family at the moment....

I always consider myself as the most fortunate one.... but no matter what life still goes on... got to face lots of things in life that different from my sisters too...

Sometimes I am just thinking would I have a chance to go into the mental hospital? I am really envy of them when they can just live in their own world... they can just get themselves into the craziest part of their life... well... is just a thought... sometimes things will not be as perfect as u think...

I am not on my MSN at the moment as I don't feel like chatting... wonder how is he now? Is he doing great? Having fun with his friends? He got a new 'gf'? He had changed his friendster in looking for a friend only... wonder if him really wooing another girl? Sigh... I know I should stop it! Y is I thinking again? Is none of my business anymore! :s...
I am leaving now... If I got the chance I will come online once I get home... or how... Take care... thanks for all the concerns and care from ppl who got my blog's webby from me :) thanks a lot and I do really appreciate it...