Memory that I don't wanna delete

He is just like the memory in my mind that I dun want to delete... yes... is good to have someone to stuck in your mind... and is bad to have someone stuck in your mind too...

I wonder why I had lost my interest to guys. Hmmm... Well I guess my mind can't fit in anyone now... yes, I admit that still him....

Sometimes I am just trying to accept the fact that I am not his anymore... why do I mind every single thing he did when he come online? Sigh...

These days I had parked my nick in IRC... I am just waiting for the time he will come online and I know if he come online and I am online he will be watching without typing anything...

Sigh.... just can't stop thinking of him.... what is the best way to forget a person? I am not a machine... if I am a machine I will be glad as I can just click on 'format' and get everything format from my mind... sigh... being silly of keeping every single memory I had with him... every single jokes we had made.. Every single chat we had....

when I read back the log where we chatted since august... sometimes I wish I could turn back time and stay in the time where I got jokes with him... not his gf but a close friend I suppose... we joke a lot and we make fun of each other... no! I am not saying I was regret being with him... but I guess everyone would like to go back to the sweetest memory right? And so do I... I just wish to go back to my sweetest memory with him... I consider that time was sweet as we never had big arguments... we can tease each other a lot...

U knows after since we move further in our relationship... we always had arguments.... yes is good to learn from mistakes... I’ve learned everything after I broke up with him... I know is not point to blame myself anymore... but I’ll never being so stubborn, ego and nasty to my bf anymore.... a song that really suits my feelings and I wish to dedicate to him is

The Reason from hoobastank...
I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you

I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
That's why I need you to hear

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you
And the reason is you
And the reason is you

I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you

I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you

this is one of the song we shared in out relationship... yes... he sang for me before... he was really sad when I asked for broke up for the first time... I remembered we had the first argument... I couldn't sleep well... even if I asked for break up I still call him... he had talk to me and comfort me... I just hold the phone and cry like a baby... he sang songs and make me sleep before he sleep... yes... he is a reason to change myself... he is a reason to let me grown up... thanks KKY....

a relationship that has grown in the heart.... no point of saying sorry while I am still repeating the same mistakes to hurt him...

Every single corner had filled up with his memory....
wish u have a nice day.... thanks for reading my blog again....