Here to blog again

I am crying at the moment… I just finished watching a movie… it is about a lover fight to live together, but they got separated at the end because the hero had passed away…

Everything start from a nasty girlfriend and they end up fighting with a group of crook… the saddest part of the movie is the time the hero doesn’t know how to swim and he swim into the sea to save his girlfriend life while he is injured… and finally he is dead in the sea… the girlfriend tried to save his life too… unfortunately it was too late…

The girl regretted of being nasty before the incident… but nothing she can do to compensate the love anymore….

It reminds me of Danny’s case… Danny is my ex boyfriend who passed away 4 years ago… I knew Danny from IRC… then we keep contact in MSN… after a while he kept calling me… my mum knows about him because he kept calling my house phone to reach me… one day he suggested to meet out… so I agreed and he came to fetch me from somewhere near my house… I was in the holiday as my mum don’t want me to fall in love in that age… so I got to cheated my mum in order to meet him…

Once he saw me he was so nervous and I felt nervous too… he hold my hand after he seen me not more than 10 minutes…

I am really nervous and I was shaking… he brought me to the mamak stall and so we had our first time meet in a mamak stall… he is actually my first boyfriend… since I can’t stay up too late he got to sent me home after in 2 hours time… he send me to a bus stop near my house… and he took away my first kiss in the car that night…

We’ve been together for one year… after one year he told me he wanted to go back to his ex girlfriend… his ex girlfriend had threaten him with commit suicide… I thought I can be generous and I asked him to go back to his ex girlfriend… I always love rainy days… whenever it rains it reminds me of the day we broke up… it was really a sad day... it rains heavily… he send me somewhere near my house… I forced him to stop at the road side or I will jump down from the car… I wanted to walk in the rain so I can cry without letting my mum knows I was crying… he is the first guy who cried for me because of love…

I run very fast and I fell down in the rain… I got my hand injured… when I reach home it was a bit late and I got to make up story to my mum… right after I explained to my mum I ran into the bath room and took one hour shower… I cried and I went to sleep straight away… we still keep contact as he is still loving me…

Few months later, he broke up with his ex girlfriend and he asked me if I want to patch back… but I refuse because I am too far from him… in the school break I had went back Malaysia for holidays… we still meet each other but we are not into any relationship… the feeling is still there but we didn’t make any move… whenever he send me home he will kissed me on my cheek…

There was one night he got argued with me… I supposed to go to a party with him… but end up he went to the party alone… he got drunk and he got accident in his way home… when the time I got the news it was too late…

He is one and only memory that keeps in my mind for so long… I dun even remember when my grandparents were passed away…

When something is not belonging to me I will not ask for it anymore… I’ve been regretted for once and I hope I will not be regretting anymore…

Today cicak had left IRC… he said he will not want to go back IRC anymore… :s… I wasn’t happy but I can’t do anything much as I am feeling down... the feeling is like losing a friend… I hope we can still keep in touch…

Today I am happy that Kate had type something for me… thanks Kate… anyway my brain gone blank at the moment... I will stop typing now and I will be trashing things out again if there is anything in my mind…