You're always on my mind

I’ve lay on my bed without doing anything for the passed 2 hours… I was trying to get some sleep but I am not able to sleep at all… if I say I am not thinking anything that is just impossible…

Today I chatted with Shen Yee, Shen Yee is one of his buddy, we don’t really chatted about him, but I told Shen Yee that I used to sensed he got someone else… and Shen Yee told me no, Ian doesn’t has any GF at the moment and he always hang out with Shen Yee…

I miss him badly at the moment… I came online and I asked him a question: can I ask if u ever want me to disappear from ur life? And I got this answer from him:

ß t L ε J u î © ε :: Don't fall away and leave me to myself!! Don't fall away! And leave love bleeding in my hands! says:

har?

* ß t L ε J u î © ε :: Don't fall away and leave me to myself!! Don't fall away! And leave love bleeding in my hands! says:

why ask like that?

* ß t L ε J u î © ε :: Don't fall away and leave me to myself!! Don't fall away! And leave love bleeding in my hands! says:

i didnt do anything to u also

And I say: Pls answer me, and he replied

ß t L ε J u î © ε :: Don't fall away and leave me to myself!! Don't fall away! And leave love bleeding in my hands! says:

no?

I am supposed to be happy as we got to ‘chat’ again… and one thing is he is not avoiding after I send him the song… I’ve been repeating the song since yesterday… the whole song is just expressing me to him…

Finally I’ve asked him if he read my blog before… and he answered yea… I’ve finished 6 can of Coke… I don’t know why I just feel like drinking Coke… is been long time never drink Coke… I mean the one in can…

I’ve got a call from Mike (my ex bf) and I just got nothing much to say to him, he was trying to make me talk something but I don’t know what to talk with him… and finally we end up having 30 secs chat on the phone…

I am thinking to get a make up course… feel like improve my make up skills… I’ve learn from Sher Wei before but not really good yet… I just wish to get something to do before I gone crazy or stuck myself to think too much…

Having a bad headache now… after all I finally found out who are the one who care, concern, and love me… thanks a lot… oh yeah, I got the answer from him about his nick in MSN. He said that is a song he loves, his favorite… fuel – hemorage…

I think is better for me to stop here… I wonder if my blog bored u guys. Most of the people must be scolding while they reading my blog… why am I thinking of him again? And why is that him again? Hmm… I am just a human… sometimes love is just a miracle… maybe the uncle moon had tied a red string between us… and when he got drunk he changed it again?.... I know if I said that it might sound silly… but this is what I think of only… :x

Got a bad news from Chian where she said she is going to quit IRC because she can’t get along with the people in the chat room… she doesn’t seem alright, but I am not even alright to comfort her… sorry Chian… I know you will drop by here if you see this, please take care of yourself and do drop by the chat room when you are free….

My friends and cousins is planning to come over and visit me soon… they asked me for my availability… and hope they will be coming… miss them so much… Pat had cancelled his trip to Melbourne because he is rushing back to KL… Fai is coming over in Valentine’s Day and he said he wants to date me, and I think I will ask few friends to go with me instead of spending time alone with him… I am not going to date anyone at the moment… Fai is a nice guy, he is 29 years old, he will never forget any of the greetings in a year, pity him because whenever he tried to talk to me, I will give him a cold shoulder… I think there is gap between me and him…

Err… I am a bad daughter again, because I didn’t call home again… well, ever since I broke up with him I don’t chat on phone anymore… unless there is something important or something I really need to talk to… the most expensive phone bills I ever got is 1245 dollar… it went up that high because I used direct call services… well I guess that’s all for now…