It's hard to see the pain behind the mask

Before I went offline to rest and get myself prepare to work, I leave him a message saying I am tired but I can’t sleep, been thinking of him I miss him…

He came online in his time 11++am and he got his nick changes to you like to think your sh!t, dun stank, but lean a lil closer, see roses really smell like whooohooo… I did ask him what’s with his nick but I got no respond from him…

I am trying to make myself occupied and concentrate in something else… but it seems like the mind of thinking of him is always stays in my mind… I can’t do anything about it…

I think offline and not thinking things will be good to me… I agreed with Nic’s words… there is always a door of happiness open for us, but we will never realized… even though we know we will still ‘pick a bone form the egg’….

Today is a very bad day, been through a bad morning, saw someone I am not suppose to see in the tram as he is one of the guy that I hate the most in this world… and I got a reply from the hotel I failed the interview… and I guess I have to make a decision now…

After all, I am just avoiding things… maybe I want to have a big break, but where am I supposed to go? What am I suppose to do? Sigh…

Never try never know, never know never pain, never pain never grow… finally I’ve been through all this… just send him a mail and asked him if he is scolding me in his nick… waiting for his reply and I think I need some sleep and some food…

I think I will never get out of this, hoping you will have the keys to my cells is the last mesg from me to him…. Gone for now…

Through the wind and the rain,
She stands hard as a stone,
In a world that she can't rise above,
But her dreams give her wings,
And she flies to a place where she's loved,
Concrete angel.