I miss you

My fingers are hurt, I am wearing artificial nails… this is the second time I am wearing it… the first time I wear it was 01 September 2004… I am supposed to attend a wedding dinner, but I failed to attend the dinner because of some incident. The incident made me stay at home and that incident had given me and him a good start…

That is the first day I started this relationship with him… that is a day where I went for class and I came home with the heart missing him… we sms each other for the whole day… that is the day where I asked him if he missed me in the sms… but he refused to tell me… as usual, he came online when he was home from work… I told him I am not able to attend the wedding dinner because my door lock got broken…

I was rushing home and trying to get a quick shower and was getting prepare to attend for the dinner, but I got my keys and every lock in the room without knowing it until I came out from the shower… my housemate had break the door in for me and my door lock was spoiled…

I told him I am not going to the wedding and I was moody, I’ve got myself prepared and bought myself some new cosmetics for the wedding but I was failed to attend that wedding… he try to comfort me and make some jokes to make me laugh… I realized I fall into him… that time I told him I don’t wanna chat much with him and I used quit MunKY gang in my MSN nick… MunKY is actually stood for me and him… Mun is my last name and KY stand for his name…

I’ve told him I am worry that I will fall in love with him so I rather stop that before I drop into the ‘love’… and I say is hurt that I love that person and he doesn’t love me… but he told me what he felt on me… and he said he wanna go for me… and he asked me… I didn’t answer his question in MSN because I wanna answer him on the phone… I called him and the first thing I said is ‘yes’… he asked what is the yes for and I’ve told him yes for him question… and so there goes the first day with him…

Before I continue this blog I would like to wish Ken Happy Birthday… sorry I didn’t know and sorry for this late wish… may your wishes come true…

There are 2 guys confessed to me today, one of them confessed in real and the other one confessed on the internet… the one who confessed in real is Jason, he is one of my friend that I knew him from my friend in my birthday… been went out with him for lunch for 2 times… he is quite a gentleman and nice guy, handsome and tall, he called me today and he asked me out, it was 1212am, I got myself changed and went out with him… when I see him outside my house he asked me if I wanna go for a drink or go to the beach, I feel like taking some fresh air and have a short walk and so I suggested to go to the beach… when we walked to the beach he was acting normal… 5 minutes after we reach the beach he asked me if I want to be his girlfriend… I was really shock and I went quiet, I don’t dare to look at him, I am thinking so hard to reject him in a proper way…

I was shivering and feeling not well… and finally I told him is good to be friends than boyfriend, I am not ready for any relationship… he changed topic immediately… and I feel a bit better… but I left not more than 10 minutes… he walked me home…

I realized I am a girl who needs lots of protection… I feel better when I came home with a company of a friend… I used to walk alone and I feel scared and insecure…

I didn’t turn back or I didn’t even look at his face ever since he asked me to be his girlfriend… once I reach home I run in and close the door immediately… he called me and asked me if we are still friend, I said of course and I asked to hang up because I don’t know what to say….

I’ve changed my MSN nick that start with MunMun… and someone had changed his nick to I love MunMun… he is a chatter from #my.fm, at first he told me he put the nick for fun, but after that he told me that he likes me, he confessed to me immediately… I was like gone blank straight away… I just reach home and I just on my computer… and so fast?... I told him I was busy and he said he give me time to think about it… seriously... I am not into any relationship until I prove to him and until he rejects me when I am back to Malaysia…

Feeling horrible now… sigh… anyway I am having terrible headache and I need some rest… may I have a nice day… my chest is pain and I felt weak… sigh… tell me am I suppose to let u go out from my mind? If u happens to see this blog… please answer me in your MSN nick or email me…