Oxford's latest definitions

The Oxford Dictionary's latest definition of the following words:


Cigarette :
A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool on the
other


Lecture :
An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the
notes of the students without passing through the minds of either


Conference :
The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.


Compromise :
The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got
the biggest piece.


Conference Room :
A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees
later on.


Classic :
A book which people praise, but do not read.


Etc. :
A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.


Committee :
Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing
can be done together.


Experience :
The name men give to their mistakes.


Atom Bomb :
An invention to end all inventions.


Philosopher :
A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.


Diplomat :
A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look
forward to the trip.


Father :
A banker provided by nature.


Boss
Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.


Doctor :
A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bill.