Feel bad after being so cruel

Human’s heart is so unpredictable… in one moment they will act as your friend, but it will be opposite in the next moment… *shrugs*… in these years, there are all different kind of challenge for me in my life… I thought I was trained to be tough, but I guess I’ve become weaker and weaker…

Some friends are there to get advantage of you, there is a phone call that woke me up this morning, and the caller was my best friend in Australia… I used to help her a lot in doing her assignments as well as helping her a lot during the school years… there was once because of some results and boys, we had turn the friend to enemy…

Whenever I helped her in assignment, she will always achieve higher marks than me… it really make me unhappy about that, I know my hard work is getting good result for her but not me, being an idiot for like 2 years, and one day I’m feeling so fed up and I’ve told her that I wouldn’t want to help her in doing her assignment anymore… the way she respond was really disappointed because it seems like helping her in doing the assignment had become part of my responsibility….

Since that day, she never being friendly to me anymore… one week after that, the guy that she admires had asked me out, she knew about that but she didn’t hates me, she being so friendly to me, I thought we will remain as friends like last time, but I was wrong, she was just using me to approach the guy… I didn’t blame anyone of my stupidity, and after we graduated, we still keeping contact and we will attend gatherings that had been organized by other classmates…

We are friends but never being so close anymore… today, she had called me up to get some financial help from me… I’ve told her I am not the creditor, or rather I am not working in financial solution company… I’ve no idea why when she asked for help, the scene that how she hurts me in out school years appear in my mind… sigh…

She didn’t hang up straight away, but she asked, if there is nothing worth to help for our friendship over these years? When I heard this question, I felt heartache… but I got to be cruel to her… finally I’ve answered, yes, it’s just because of this friendship I’ve decided not to help her anymore, I’ve being betrayed by her for few times, and I’ve tried to forgive her for few times, I’m still wondering if she appreciate what I’ve done? Sigh….